Today marks the 47th Wedding Anniversary of my parents, and I take a step back to look at their lives together. With all the ups and downs, tears and laughters, pains and joys and they are still together. Thanking God for each other. I am truly amazed.
For most of us who are in the early stage of married we feel that life is a dream come true, being with the one person that we love most in the world (sometimes even more than our parents or life itself). Our motto then would be "You and I Against the World".
But as the years go by the little things start to become big things and we start to feel our wonderful world with this wonderful person is not as wonderful anymore. SO WHAT HAPPEND????? How could this person who was so loving and caring change into this other person whom we just dont reconize anymore.
In my opinion, a marraige is full of trails and trubulations and somewhere there the both of you will learn patiences, perserverences, completeness, love, support, loyalty and trust. Of course there will also be tears, anger, faultfinding and just plain I can't take this anymore (Every Marraige Has This) but above all that, never giving up on each other and take very thing as a challenge with a pince of sugar and look on the positive side and you will be together until death do you part.
In two weeks time my husband and I will be celebrating our 25th Wedding Anniversary and I don't know what awaits for us in the future but what ever it is I look forward to the next 25 years together.
I came across this article,Its not something new but surely something worth sharing.
MARRIAGE
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Ginger Chicken with Spring Onions
Here is a dish that I find very easy and also one of the fastest dishes to prepare. It goes very well with hot steamy rice or just eaten on its own.
Ingredients:
- 2 Chicken whole legs
- 6 sprigs of spring Onions
- 2 inch of young ginger (sliced thinly)
- 1 big onion
- 1 teaspoon of corn flour
- 2 tablespoon of light soya sauce
- 2 tablespoon of cooking oil
- 2 teaspoon of sesame oil
- 1 cup of water
Method:
A) Cut chicken into bite size and marinate with corn flour and soya sauce.
Set aside for 2 hours.
B) Slice young ginger, onion and cut spring onions into 2 inch lenght.
C) Heat oil in pan, add sesame oil and ginger and fry until fragrant then add sliced onions.
D) When onion is transparent add only the chicken into the pan and cook for 5 minutes stirring a few time.Add water and simmer on slow fire until chicken is tender and gravy is thick.
E) Add salt to taste and just before chicken is taken out add the spring onions and serve.
Ingredients:
- 2 Chicken whole legs
- 6 sprigs of spring Onions
- 2 inch of young ginger (sliced thinly)
- 1 big onion
- 1 teaspoon of corn flour
- 2 tablespoon of light soya sauce
- 2 tablespoon of cooking oil
- 2 teaspoon of sesame oil
- 1 cup of water
Method:
A) Cut chicken into bite size and marinate with corn flour and soya sauce.
Set aside for 2 hours.
B) Slice young ginger, onion and cut spring onions into 2 inch lenght.
C) Heat oil in pan, add sesame oil and ginger and fry until fragrant then add sliced onions.
D) When onion is transparent add only the chicken into the pan and cook for 5 minutes stirring a few time.Add water and simmer on slow fire until chicken is tender and gravy is thick.
E) Add salt to taste and just before chicken is taken out add the spring onions and serve.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Chillie Fish Curry
Since I started blogging about food recently I had a few inquires from relatives as well as friends asking me for recipes. So I have decided to share some of the recipes that had been handed down to me by my late Mother In Law in hope that in the generations to come they too will be able to enjoy these dishes.
Now these recipes have been put together by loving hands thru the generations and the measurements of ingredients have never been documented, it just a little of this and a pinch of that and lastly a handful of love.
I think I'll start will one of the favorite of the family. Its called lovingly " Chillie Fish Curry" by us but its also known as Asam Pedas, or literally “sour spicy,”. This is a classic Malaysian dish. Ask any Malaysian – Malay, Chinese, or Indian–and you are bound to get various recipes for Assam Pedas. Everyone has their own interpretation for this favorite dish and there are endless adaptations; suffice it to say, it’s sour, fiery hot, and tastes extraordinarily satisfying…
FISH CHILLIE CURRY
Ingredients
600gms Fish (promfret,mackerels or stingray)
10 ladies fingers
1 tomato (cut into wedges)
6 sprigs of daun kesum (Vietnamese mint/Vietnames coriander)
5 tablespoons of cooking oil
1 bunga kantan (quartered)(pink ginger flower)
2 long brinjals (cut into 2 inch and halfed)
Salt to taste
4 tablespoon Oil
I have included a picture of the ingredients
Spice Paste:
1 clove garlic
8 shallots
8-10 dried chillies (depends how spicy you like)
1/2 tablespoon of belacan (prawn paste)
Tamarind Juice:
1 1/4 cup of water
Tamarind pulp (size of a golf ball)
Method:strong>
a) Add ingredients for the spice paste into a food processor and grind.Set aside
b) In the meantime soak the tamarind pulp water for 15 minutes.
Squeeze the pulp to extract the flavor into the water.
Drain and save the tamarind juice..
c) Heat oil and fry the spice paste for until fragrant.
d) Add bunga kantan,daun kesum,brinjals,the tamarind juice and bring to boil.
e) Add the fish,tomato wedges and ladies fingers and bring to boil.
f) Taste for salt.
g) Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes or until the fish is cooked.
h) Serve hot.
So now be sure that there alot of hot steamy rice and enjoy.
Now these recipes have been put together by loving hands thru the generations and the measurements of ingredients have never been documented, it just a little of this and a pinch of that and lastly a handful of love.
I think I'll start will one of the favorite of the family. Its called lovingly " Chillie Fish Curry" by us but its also known as Asam Pedas, or literally “sour spicy,”. This is a classic Malaysian dish. Ask any Malaysian – Malay, Chinese, or Indian–and you are bound to get various recipes for Assam Pedas. Everyone has their own interpretation for this favorite dish and there are endless adaptations; suffice it to say, it’s sour, fiery hot, and tastes extraordinarily satisfying…
FISH CHILLIE CURRY
Ingredients
600gms Fish (promfret,mackerels or stingray)
10 ladies fingers
1 tomato (cut into wedges)
6 sprigs of daun kesum (Vietnamese mint/Vietnames coriander)
5 tablespoons of cooking oil
1 bunga kantan (quartered)(pink ginger flower)
2 long brinjals (cut into 2 inch and halfed)
Salt to taste
4 tablespoon Oil
I have included a picture of the ingredients
Spice Paste:
1 clove garlic
8 shallots
8-10 dried chillies (depends how spicy you like)
1/2 tablespoon of belacan (prawn paste)
Tamarind Juice:
1 1/4 cup of water
Tamarind pulp (size of a golf ball)
Method:strong>
a) Add ingredients for the spice paste into a food processor and grind.Set aside
b) In the meantime soak the tamarind pulp water for 15 minutes.
Squeeze the pulp to extract the flavor into the water.
Drain and save the tamarind juice..
c) Heat oil and fry the spice paste for until fragrant.
d) Add bunga kantan,daun kesum,brinjals,the tamarind juice and bring to boil.
e) Add the fish,tomato wedges and ladies fingers and bring to boil.
f) Taste for salt.
g) Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes or until the fish is cooked.
h) Serve hot.
So now be sure that there alot of hot steamy rice and enjoy.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
+ Take Up Your Cross +
Everyone, yes everyone, has sorrowful mysteries in their lives. They may be sad things that happen to us or to those close to us, like the sickness of ourselves or our loved ones, the betrayals, the failures. Or they may be interior things that we find hard to explain, such as depression or hidden conflict of the heart. Our sorrowful mysteries will be different for each one of us and for each of us there will be events that will make a difference.
We show much of our self by the way we respond to such trails. Some of us imagine that some part could be undone by us and get stuck on that feeling of "If Only"; It should not have happened or it should not be like this and we just get stuck in a rut over this kinds of thoughts and allow the feeling of depression to set in.
Real success does not consist in getting it right all the time. Success is what we do with our failures.
Our Lord said: "Take Up Your Cross". It is not something we go looking for in faraway places. Sooner or later the Lord hands us a cross, and our job is to recognize it.
We show much of our self by the way we respond to such trails. Some of us imagine that some part could be undone by us and get stuck on that feeling of "If Only"; It should not have happened or it should not be like this and we just get stuck in a rut over this kinds of thoughts and allow the feeling of depression to set in.
Real success does not consist in getting it right all the time. Success is what we do with our failures.
Our Lord said: "Take Up Your Cross". It is not something we go looking for in faraway places. Sooner or later the Lord hands us a cross, and our job is to recognize it.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Crispy Oven Baked Chicken Thighs
This year the hubby and I decided that we would be eating healthier, so for the pass few months we have been experimenting with new recipes. Here is one of our new found dishes that's so easy to make and we can indulge in without feeling guilty.
Crispy Oven Baked Chicken Thighs
Ingredients:
Chicken Thighs
Salt and Pepper
Garlic Powder
Method:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. For easy clean up, line a large shallow baking pan with foil sprayed with cooking spray or simply spray pan with cooking spray.
Season chicken on both sides with salt, pepper and garlic OR seasoning of your choice. Place on pan making sure the pan is large enough to accommodate the chicken without crowding but leaving at least an inch or more between pieces. The less crowed the chicken pieces, the crispier they will become.
Bake chicken 35-45 mins or up to an hour. Chicken pieces should be well browned and crispy on the outside and the juices clear.
Crispy Oven Baked Chicken Thighs
Ingredients:
Chicken Thighs
Salt and Pepper
Garlic Powder
Method:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. For easy clean up, line a large shallow baking pan with foil sprayed with cooking spray or simply spray pan with cooking spray.
Season chicken on both sides with salt, pepper and garlic OR seasoning of your choice. Place on pan making sure the pan is large enough to accommodate the chicken without crowding but leaving at least an inch or more between pieces. The less crowed the chicken pieces, the crispier they will become.
Bake chicken 35-45 mins or up to an hour. Chicken pieces should be well browned and crispy on the outside and the juices clear.
Three Little Words
For the pass few days I seem to be in a rut, don't really know whats wrong with me... hmmmm could it be that time of the month when my hormone's are going out of control I thought, but after counting my days I guess its not .... well what could it be then?... Why do I feel the way I feel... I just want to get away and be alone, away from the world and all those whom I love as well as those I rather not be with.
So I gathered myself and offered to go for take out as I was just not up to cooking. During the journey I decided to call a friend to ask her what was she up to, and when she answered the call by saying " Valarie, I love you!!!" I was just lost for words and started laughing and crying at once. Now here's not something I often hear over the phone. We both laughed for awhile and ended the call.
On my way home I realised that I wasn't feeling as bad as I was when I left home, so I decided to call a few friends and told them that I loved them and before I could reached home I had received a few calls from other friends telling me that they loved me too.
Apparently my girlfriend had started a chain reaction without realising it and it was a great way to let people around us know that there is someone out there who loves and care enough to let you know that your loved.
By the time I reached home I was one very happy camper with a big smile on my face. With a puzzled look on his face the hubby asked "What happen to you while you were out getting lunch?" My answer "I LOVE YOU".
So I gathered myself and offered to go for take out as I was just not up to cooking. During the journey I decided to call a friend to ask her what was she up to, and when she answered the call by saying " Valarie, I love you!!!" I was just lost for words and started laughing and crying at once. Now here's not something I often hear over the phone. We both laughed for awhile and ended the call.
On my way home I realised that I wasn't feeling as bad as I was when I left home, so I decided to call a few friends and told them that I loved them and before I could reached home I had received a few calls from other friends telling me that they loved me too.
Apparently my girlfriend had started a chain reaction without realising it and it was a great way to let people around us know that there is someone out there who loves and care enough to let you know that your loved.
By the time I reached home I was one very happy camper with a big smile on my face. With a puzzled look on his face the hubby asked "What happen to you while you were out getting lunch?" My answer "I LOVE YOU".
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
What's Cooking Tomorrow
My son's back for the semester break and having him home means I do alot more cooking, not that I'm complaining at all, but daily it would be a battle of thinking of what's the menu going to be for the coming day?
My boy is not a fussy eater, he basically eats whatever that's put in front of him but the one dish that I would say that is his favourite is spaghetti. Now preparing a spaghetti dish is one of those dishes that I enjoy doing cause it's ready in a jiffy. Here you have a dish that's easy to make and cost next to nothing. Just add some garlic bread and a salad and we have a wholesome healthy meal.
Well, now you can guess what the menu going to be tomorrow.
While most of us make spaghetti sauce by opening a jar or can, preferring convenience to sweat and tears of homemade. Let me tell you that making Spaghetti Sauce from scratch is not only simple but also delicious. Here is a recipe that will not only impress your friends and family, as well as your taste buds.
Making spaghetti sauce from scratch means you experimenting with all the different kinds of ingredients to discover what mix of taste you prefer.
There a few steps to getting things done but have some patience and enjoy the finish.
Spaghetti Sauce
Ingredients
20 ripe fresh Tomatoes
1/4 cups of chopped onions
3 cloves of chopped garlic
2 tablespoon of basil
1 lb choped mushrooms
1 large chopped green pepper
2 bay leave
2 tablespon oregano
1/4 teaspoon of ground black pepper
grated Parmesan cheese
3 tablespoon on olive oil
Method:
Prepare the tomatoes:
In a big pot of boiling water, put tomatoes in a few at the time for about 45 seconds. Remove them and immediately plunge them into ice water. This process will make the skin come right off.
Now cut tomatoes into half and squeeze each one with clean finger to remove seeds, put aside to drain.
Put the drain tomatoes in a food processor and liquefy.
Heat olive oil in a large pot and add onions and garlic and stir till onions is soft and garlic is golden brown. Add muchrooms, green peppers and liquified tomatoes to the pot and cook for a few minutes. Now add spices and bring to a boil, cover and simmer until sauce is thick.
You have now made spaghetti sauce from scrath. Enjoy!
My boy is not a fussy eater, he basically eats whatever that's put in front of him but the one dish that I would say that is his favourite is spaghetti. Now preparing a spaghetti dish is one of those dishes that I enjoy doing cause it's ready in a jiffy. Here you have a dish that's easy to make and cost next to nothing. Just add some garlic bread and a salad and we have a wholesome healthy meal.
Well, now you can guess what the menu going to be tomorrow.
While most of us make spaghetti sauce by opening a jar or can, preferring convenience to sweat and tears of homemade. Let me tell you that making Spaghetti Sauce from scratch is not only simple but also delicious. Here is a recipe that will not only impress your friends and family, as well as your taste buds.
Making spaghetti sauce from scratch means you experimenting with all the different kinds of ingredients to discover what mix of taste you prefer.
There a few steps to getting things done but have some patience and enjoy the finish.
Spaghetti Sauce
Ingredients
20 ripe fresh Tomatoes
1/4 cups of chopped onions
3 cloves of chopped garlic
2 tablespoon of basil
1 lb choped mushrooms
1 large chopped green pepper
2 bay leave
2 tablespon oregano
1/4 teaspoon of ground black pepper
grated Parmesan cheese
3 tablespoon on olive oil
Method:
Prepare the tomatoes:
In a big pot of boiling water, put tomatoes in a few at the time for about 45 seconds. Remove them and immediately plunge them into ice water. This process will make the skin come right off.
Now cut tomatoes into half and squeeze each one with clean finger to remove seeds, put aside to drain.
Put the drain tomatoes in a food processor and liquefy.
Heat olive oil in a large pot and add onions and garlic and stir till onions is soft and garlic is golden brown. Add muchrooms, green peppers and liquified tomatoes to the pot and cook for a few minutes. Now add spices and bring to a boil, cover and simmer until sauce is thick.
You have now made spaghetti sauce from scrath. Enjoy!
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